Tag Archive | Birthday

It’s All I Ever Wanted!

Sparkly birthday card from GG and Papa

Sparkly birthday card from GG and Papa

Sammie has just turned 4 years old.  She really isn’t sure what this means at all, she is still figuring out how to hold up 4 fingers without having the pinky finger curled down.

What she does know is this, on minute she is excited about being a big girl, and the next she is talking in baby talk.

She thinks her magic is gone now.  This makes me sad, but I think I need to work with her to help her realize that her magic lives in her imagination…in other words it lives in her ability to imagine and create.  Rather than feeling sad about her “losing” her magic, I see this as a wonderful opportunity to help her find that her magic is something she can control and develop.  I think we’ll have fun together learning how to express this magic that we all have.

For awhile she had a companion named Shadow.  None of us grownups could see or hear Shadow, only Sammie.  If Shadow needed to go to the bathroom, Sammie went.  Then a few minutes later she would go again but this time for herself.  If something spilled, or disappeared, Shadow was responsible.

This is typical of most three and four year olds.  However for Sam, it has developed into a whole community of shadow people.  According to her, shadow people are those who can not be seen but you can hear them.  They talk to you.  They also live in the moon.  They are nice people, as opposed to the aliens who live in the moon.  The aliens there are not nice at all.

The other night I was visiting over at Sammie’s house.  She was on the floor playing and started in with some baby-talk.  I curiously asked her where all this baby-talk was coming from, because, I said, I thought she had told me she was a big girl now.

She replied “I am a big girl, but I am still YOUR little baby!”  I scooped her up and held her like she was a little baby and started to rock her and sing.  She became very still and snuggled into me.

Being four years old means that there are exciting things to learn, new games to create, new pictures to paint, big girl dolls with a wardrobe of clothes to be conquered.  It means learning your colors and numbers, singing the ABC song, bursting out with “Let It Go” spontaneously.  It means picking up your toys and eating your food by yourself.  It means putting on and taking off your own clothes and wanting privacy in the bathroom.

Being four also means that you still remember being three, and the love you feel when Grandma cuddles you.  It means you remember how you can give that special look to Papa and he will spoon-feed you your food.  You remember being the center of attention just because you came over to visit.  You also know that this will probably never change.  Because you remember these wonderful things and how it makes you feel, you don’t want to lose these things and these feelings just because you are growing up.

Grandma understands!  My promise to Sammie is that I am here to help her.  I will help her discover the magic she was born with that never goes away, it just takes on different forms.  I will help her discover new experiences that she could not enjoy at a younger age.  Grandma also understands that she needs to always be my baby girl, so anytime we can cuddle and rock and sing lullabies, we will do so!

The reason I was at her house the other night is because it was the night of her fourth birthday.  Her big party will be on the weekend, but on her actual birthday her great-grandparents and I wanted to give her the gifts we bought for her.  Everyone should have a birthday gift on their actual birthday!  We also wanted to enjoy watching her open the gifts and appreciate them without all the overwhelming excitement and energy that takes place at a child’s party.  Her momma had a chocolate cake with four purple candles, Sammie managed to blow them all out after several tries and a wee bit of help from Papa.

I had fun teasing her when we first arrived, asking her if she knew why I was there because I could not remember!  And this package in my hand?  I wasn’t sure who it was for, could it be for mommy?

“It’s for ME” she said, “it’s MY birthday!”  She said this with great excitement.

After we all sat down in the living room and she had showed us her pinata and the huge balloon daddy had brought her, she reached for the package I brought.  She pulled out the doll clothes and shoes one by one and admired each item.  For a little girl she really knows how to enjoy opening a gift!  It is a pleasure to watch her, I can’t describe the joy it gives me to watch her face and hear her words as she expresses her appreciation!

A bag full of new doll clothes!

A bag full of new doll clothes!

After that, she reached for the packages that GG (great grandma) had brought her.  The first one was a good-sized plush My Little Pony named Twilight Sparkle.  She loved it!  Then came the last package, also from GG.

Sammie reached in and pulled out….a plush Elsa doll!  Complete with soft plush yellow hair, sparkly blue gown made of satin and tulle and blue satin slippers.

It's all I ever wanted!

It’s all I ever wanted!

Sammie was overjoyed!  The first thing she said was “ohh, it’s all I ever wanted!”  She repeated that over and over while holding the doll and twirling around.  She held it up over her head to look at it, and showed it to all of us, all the while repeating “its all I ever wanted”.

It was such a joy to watch her in such ecstasy over a doll!  On top of that, I don’t know whose face I enjoyed more, Sammie or my mom.  Mom’s face was beaming, so happy that Sammie was so happy with this gift!

I never really knew my great grandparents.  Neither did my son know his.  So I am really happy about the fact that my own parents are getting to enjoy having a great-grandchild and that Sammie gets to know them and have such memories for later in her life.

Sammie is also learning a really good lesson with all this.  She has wanted an Elsa doll since the movie came out last year.  Her mom says that every time they would go to a store and Sammie would spot one, she would beg for it.  Mommy would say things like “let’s wait and see what Santa bring”,  “let’s wait and see what you get for your birthday”,  ” that doll is so small, the price is too high for a small doll like that”.

So Sammie waited.  She waited and waited and waited.  For months she has sung “Let it Go”.  When she spends the night with me, we watch the video on my computer and she knows all the words to the song.  I am not allowed to sing it, only her!

I hope that now at this young age she is learning that waiting can be worth it!  After all, she waited as patiently as a three-year old can, and by the time she turned four, she received “all she ever wanted”!

Your turn!  Tell me about a time when you wanted something, anything and had to wait for it, making the final outcome that much sweeter!


November 2014 – Gains and Losses

November has not been an easy month this year.

I lost my first best friend to an unexpected death on November 1st.  We met when we were 11 years old, she would have been 54 in December.  It was such a shock because it was so unexpected, yet she was having medical problems that were never identified.  Now there is the mystery of what caused her passing.

Wendy and Dave

Wendy and Dave dancing, this is how I will remember her!

I am told that this particular November’s full moon provided an easier portal to the next plane of existence and that if one really desired to go, one would be able to will it to happen.

I know that Wendy missed her husband so much.

She lost him to cancer about 4 years ago and she never finished grieving.  I feel like Dave must have called to her through that portal and she willingly went to him.  I don’t know if this is a true representation of what happens to us spiritually when our body dies, but the thought gives me comfort and it feels right.




The next thing that happened is that I almost lost my dog, Holly. 

She is a border collie mix, about 11 years old.  She has been staying with my friend while I am living with my parents trying to get back on my feet.  Well, my friend lost her home and ended up in a motel with my dog along with her 3 little dogs.

Holly 11-7-14-2

Holly sitting in the driver’s seat!

I mounted a Facebook campaign to get help:

a rescue, a foster home or something.  Ended up with people contacting me willing to help in many ways.  One woman took food and treats to the hotel, along with leashes and collars.  Another woman provided for vet care for all 4 dogs and helped raise money for my friend’s motel bill so that she could stay with the dogs.

Eventually a friend from church offered to foster Holly and so Holly is now with her.

I am really happy about that because my friend who was keeping Holly is now on the move to Arkansas!   It’s hard enough losing 2 friends without losing my dog too!


Rexann and baby Nataly

Rexann and baby Nataly

I know this friend is not really lost to me, but living so far away and making a life will limit our communication.  I will miss her.  I’ll miss talking on the phone almost every day sharing stories about our grand children.







I turned 55 this month, and the week of my birthday was very peaceful.  I had come to turns pretty much with Wendy’s death and Rexann’s decisions, also with the idea that I may have to allow Holly to be adopted.

My family celebrated my birthday over the time of several days, which was wonderful!  Mom took me shopping, dad had already paid for my membership at 24 hour fitness, my son and his wife bought me a new camera.

My parents took me and Samantha to lunch on my birthday, we had fabulous Mexican food and I had Flan for the first time.  Sammie of course had a corn dog and fries!







But aside from all the gifts, I felt the love.

Feeling the love enabled me to remember all that I have to be grateful for.  It is just too much to list here, but I will say I am grateful for my family and my friends, and how being with them all enriches my life in spite of or maybe  because of my financial situation.

The last 2 years of my life have been a journey of healing for me, and it still continues.  I have come so far from where I was that I can now look toward the future with anticipation for what may come next!

I think that even though 55 has had such a shocking beginning, it looks to be a really good year.

Please share with me a time in your life when you felt great change, experienced loss, or received some kind of healing!

What Side is Your Bread Buttered On?


Moon -  everything you want to know is within you


Last weekend our family went out to lunch to celebrate the birthday of  my daughter-in-law, Courtney.   She chose Spring Creek Bar-b-que, which is a well-known restaurant around this area of Texas, and a family favorite.

One of the things I love about Spring Creek is their warm rolls.   They are so divine!  You get one on your plate with your meal and then a hostess walks around with a huge basket filled with warm rolls, carrying a long-handled tongs to keep you well supplied with hot rolls.  The rolls are heavenly with butter melted in the middle and are perfect for sopping up the last tidbits of sauces and meat.

Of course, Samantha was not hungry.  She was just too excited to eat.  Before coming the restaurant, her parents had taken her to the animal shelter to pick out a new animal companion, a kitten.  They had visited this kitten the week before and he seemed to choose Sammie as much as she was choosing him.  He is black and his name is Jinx.  She calls him Jinxy Boy.   So with all this going on, she was just to excited to sit still and eat anything.

Never the less, Courtney split up a roll into pieces and buttered them, then placed them on a napkin in front of Sammie.   After awhile she finally sat down and reached for a piece of roll.  Immediately she dropped it back down and exclaimed “this bread is wet!”

Samantha does not eat wet bread.  It did not matter that it was butter, the bread was wet and it was unacceptable to her.

This caused me to start thinking about that old saying “you need to remember what side your  bread is buttered on”.  Any of you remember that?

What it means is that you should realize who is providing for you and show appreciation and gratitude.  It can also work against you.  If you are in a bad relationship but you have no wherewithal to get away and on your own, you do whatever is necessary to keep the peace and get along, because you know what side your bread is buttered on.

I heartily agree that our lives are better when we show gratitude and appreciation for the blessings we receive in life.  Not to do so is selfish and wreaks of entitlement.

But I think Sammie makes a good point as well.  This bread is wet!  A person, especially girls and women, needs to be able to butter their own bread!  This idea is called empowerment.

In order to empower yourself you will need to realize that you are strong and brave, that you are gifted and talented.  Tune into your intuition.  If you feel like you do not trust your intuition, practice it.  There are many books available on this topic.  The main thing is:  you already know what you need to know, and if anyone tells you differently then you must be strong enough not to listen!

You have a right to choose the kind of life you want to live.  You have a right to choose the teachers in your life.  I am not talking about public school here.  I am talking about parents, coaches, leaders, friends, parents of friends, counselors, spiritual leaders, ministers, the list goes on.  You choose these people yourself.  If they do not serve your well-being and growth, make another choice.  In the end you become what you choose to be, you become what you think you are.

I want to repeat that.  You. Become. What. You. Think. You. Are.

If you don’t like who you are, change the way you think about yourself.  Practice a new thought, and it will become part of you.

Sammie finally did eat some food.  Her daddy bribed her with banana pudding.  One bite of meat, then one spoonful of pudding. ( hey, anyone remember a song like this? Let me know if you do, I am curious to see who comes up with the same answer I am thinking of!)

Sammie knows who butters her bread.  She is too young to butter it herself right now.  But she is only three years old.  Her parents, grandparents and great-grandparents are in her life because she chose us.  We will make sure she learns to butter her own bread.

Women, girls, listen closely!  Butter your own bread.  Don’t accept wet bread from anyone just because you don’t think you have any other choice!

You always have a choice!









Please share your thoughts and comments below!  Don’t forget to let me know if you remember the song I hinted at in this article!

Samantha’s Concern


Last week was my son’s 35th birthday.  It was during the week so we planned on celebrating on Sunday after church.

Then on Friday we found out that Sammie was sick, she had a pretty high fever so her mother left work to take her to the doctor.  They were thinking maybe strep throat.  But it was a virus, no strep.  She just needed to be home with mommy to control the fever, eat some popsicles and be cuddled.

By Saturday she was better but still not herself completely.  I talked to her and asked her how she was feeling.  “I am ok, I pooped in the potty and now I am playing with my zoo.” she told me.

We decided to go ahead with our plans for Sunday, since we would be at their house and if Sammie didn’t feel good she could lay down anytime and anywhere she wanted.

Mom roasted some corn on the cob, I made some potato salad and Courtney made a chocolate cake.

When we arrived there Sunday afternoon, Sammie was not feeling very sociable.  She didn’t want to say “Hi”, she didn’t want a hug or kiss.  All she would say is ” I just want my mommy”.

I told her that was ok, I wasn’t there to take her away from mommy.  “But, I told her, “I have a little present for you, do you want it?”   She said “Yes, but bring it over here by mommy.”   Courtney lifted her up onto the counter to sit, and I went over by them.

I pulled a small box from my purse and handed it to Samantha.  She struggled with the opening, and I asked her if I could help  her get it open.  “Yes, open it” she said.   I just loosened the top a bit and gave it back to her.  She really does like to open things herself.   She got it open then and pulled out the bottle of teal colored nail polish.  She really liked it, she was silent but very interested in the color.  I showed her how it matched the blouse I was wearing.   After that, she seemed to get into the swing of things.

She decided she was hungry, and could hardly wait for the food to be warmed up.   She ate a hot dog and a cob of corn which she just loves.  After we all finished, Courtney found a candle for the cake and lit it up.  We sang Happy Birthday to daddy, and she helped him blow out that candle.

She sat on my lap a couple of times, but she never did want a kiss or much of a hug.  What she wanted was for me, mommy and GiGi to go upstairs to her room.  So we did that, and admired her big girl bed and her toys and lights, her TV and dolls.  I think she was really pleased to have us all in HER place.

The next day, I went to the hospital for a surgical procedure on my back, to help reduce the chronic pain that I suffer.  Later that evening, my son called.  He had us on speaker and so we put him on speaker and we could all talk together.

I heard Courtney telling Sammie that Grandma had been to the doctor to get help for her back.   Then Sammie said into the phone, “Grandma how are you feeling? Are you ok?”    The sound of her sweet voice asking me that just melted my heart.

“Yes, I said to her, “I am feeling good right now, and I am ok.  The doctor put a big needle in my back but I was asleep so it didn’t hurt and now I feel better.  Sammie how are YOU feeling today?”

“I feel better too”, she said.   Then she told me that she loves me.  “Oh, Sammie I love you too!  And I am so glad you are better today!”  She kissed the phone, and I kissed her back.

I was impressed that all she needed was to be told what happened to me, and she knew what to say on her own.   She is a leader among her friends, but she is showing compassion now, My baby grand-daughter is starting to grow up a little bit.