Having just faced my 55th birthday I have been thinking and deciding what to do with the second half of my life. I spent the first half raising a child, working hard in corporate America and trying to save for retirement. When I think about those years I realize I was always looking forward, which is better than looking back, I suppose.
I also realize that I have missed out on many opportunities by not paying attention to the now. What do I want right NOW? How can I be happy NOW? Where can I find fulfillment NOW?
Now, not later.
Not Wasting Away
I am unable to work in the corporate world any longer due to disability. I don’t intend to just waste away either! I am a grandmother now and this gives me such joy. I serve in my church and this gives me much satisfaction. I believe I am going to be around for some time, but all the plans I made for my future dried up when I got sick.
It is those three questions stated earlier in this post that are driving me. What do I want? I want to be happy and fulfilled. I have decided that I have three avenues to achieve this. Being a grandmother, speaking at church, and writing. These things will carry me into the future and sustain me, while at the same time keeping me anchored in the now.
When I am with my grand-daughter life changes at a moments notice and everything is a miracle. When I am speaking at church, I first must write, and I must focus on what my words are and how they will help someone right now. It is important to me that people realize their value, their purpose and that they are loved unconditionally.
I have worked hard to realize and believe these truths for myself and I know that this knowledge of being loved beyond measure and having a purpose is what saves us.
And just as important to me, I find that writing has become my drive and my goal, the journey of my now and my future.