Archive | June 2014

More From Sammie About Where She Came From


On May 17th I posted a conversation I had with Sammie regarding what she remembers about where she came from before being born.  This week she was visiting again, and we picked up the conversation.  First I reminded her about what we had talked about, and she remembered that.

So then I asked her, “Where did you come from before you were with me?”

Sammie:  “Nana” ( her other grandma)

Grandma:  “Oh yes, you did come from both of us, I can see that.  But before you were with us, where were you at? Where did you live?”

Sammie: ( looking up with her eyes, then looking at me) “I lived in the stars!”

Grandma: “Oh how wonderful!  Did you live someplace else before you lived in the stars?”

Sammie: (without thinking about it) “I lived in the moon! The moon is my favorite.”

Grandma: “OHHHH, what was it like there Sammie?”

Sammie: ( with eyes big and wide, leaning toward me) “It was SO beautiful grandma!”

Grandma: “It was beautiful? That’s wonderful! What made it so beautiful?”

Sammie:” There was light, and pink and yellow flowers”, ( remember she said IN the moon, not ON the moon).

Grandma: “OH I bet it is very beautiful there Sammie!”

That was all we covered this time, she is 3 1/2 now and her attention span is naturally trying to move fast to take in as much of her world as she can.

I don’t know if this conversation reflects true memories or not, but the way she spoke about it, the facial expressions, the particular emphasis on different parts of her answers and the current idea going around in certain circles that we come from stardust make me believe her.  I also asked her if anyone was with her in the moon, she said she saw her mommie and daddy, and that her friends were there.  That was as much as I could get from her.  I hope there is enough time left to ask her some other questions, like whether or not she remembers having other mommies and daddies, living in other places besides in the moon.

She is growing so fast, she loves her dolls but she doesn’t really play with them anymore.  She used to be their “mommie” and feed them pretend food and toy bottles, put them to bed and sing to them. Now she just holds them close and cuddles them.  She is more interested in watching some educational TV, ( I never knew Bubble Guppies was an educational program!), painting and making up stories about pictures.

She loves to explore outside, her great-grandmother took her out in our back garden, which is wild with trees and native Texas plants along with a creek bed and a Koi pond.  Sammie learned the names of some of the plants, like Echinacea, Turk’s Cap, Oxalis, Caladium, and more.  She picked some morning-glory blossoms for me and pointed out spider webs.  I took some great pictures of her in this setting, she looks so natural there.  A little child with long hair in a wild green garden.  It was very spiritual for me to watch and observe her, and filled me with gratefulness.

Wherever we lived before this Earth, I am glad to have her with me now, in this time, in this life.  She is such a blessing to this Grandma.


Lessons for Sammie and Grandma

The first lesson that I taught Sammie was to ask for help.  She had a new toy and could not get the package open and she growled and started to get angry.  Remembering our mutual agreement to help each other, I said to her “Sammie don’t get mad, ask for help if you need help.”   She calmed down, walked over to me, and said “I can’t open this, help me.”  Of course I did.  I have to occasionally remind her to ask for help but sometimes she does remember on her own.

The next lesson I had to teach her was not to touch my meds. I keep them in a locked train case, but I had it open one morning to get what I needed and she came in and started to pick up the bottles.  Sternly I said NO.  She started to cry, so I put my arms around her and told her I was not mad at her, but that my medicine was dangerous for little children and that is why I don’t want her to touch them, and I told her I was sorry I made her cry.  She is still curious about my meds so I do let her ask questions and answer as best I can, but she does keep her hands out of the case.

The next lesson I taught her was that Grandma needs naps, even if Sammie is not tired.  I know she needs some down time even if she isn’t sleepy, so I have taught her to keep me company while I lay down to rest.  Sometimes she falls asleep, some times she whispers in my ear about things.

On an ongoing basis, I have been teaching her about Jesus.  I know her daddy, whom I raised in church, does not want her to be overly indoctrinated, he wants her to make her own decisions about religion when she is old enough to do so.  I can agree with that, as long as he lets me teach her now about who Jesus is, what he did when he walked the earth, and that he can be her friend.  Daddy has agreed to this.  So I read some stories to her, and I bought her a toddler’s bible which is mostly pictures with short descriptions.  I like this because it allows Sammie to talk to me about the pictures.  She is fascinated by angels now, and gets excited when she sees one in a picture.  I believe that when she was an infant that she talked to her angels when she was “jabbering” herself to sleep in her crib.  I really believe this.  And I think it is part of what she now calls her magic.

The other day I listened to a webinar about the other 11 Laws of Attraction that you don’t hear much about.  These 11 laws seem to be essential in living a fulfilling life, not just about gaining material abundance.  I am starting to practice these laws for myself, starting with positivity and gratefulness.  It occurred to me that I can teach these laws to Sammie too.  I wondered if at 3 years old she is still too young, but I don’t think so.  I think that positivity and gratefulness and how one thinks, how one can receive graciously can be learned at her age.  I think it will give her an advantage to learning to live a happy fulfilling life if she learns them now.

I know I will have to continue the lessons as she grows and goes through her own experiences, but what is a Grandma for, if not to be there for you whenever you need her?

Orva Lee – A Memorial

My Mom has 3 brothers and 1 sister. Orva Lee is the oldest of the boys, born after my mother. He passed away this week after a valiant battle with brain cancer.

He served in the Army during Vietnam, but was stationed in Germany.

I remember when my family went to this special office somewhere in Houston to record a letter to him, it wasn’t on tape, it was an actual record that was mailed to him and he could play it. When he came home, he brought dolls for me and my sister. The dolls were dressed in traditional German clothing. We still have them.

Orva Lee always had gum in his shirt pocket for me and Leon. Leon is my other uncle but he is younger than me by 3 months. Whenever I was at their house and Orva Lee was going to the store he would take me and Leon with him. He always brought me a present on my birthday.

My family moved from Texas to California in 1969, I was 10 years old. I never saw or heard much from Orva Lee after that. I know he was working at Mosher Steel for several years. But then he was just missing for a while.

One day he showed up at my uncle Alvin’s house. Alvin was born after Orva Lee. It turns out Orva Lee had been homeless. By now Leon was grown and owned his own muffler shop, and he told Orva Lee to come live with him and gave him a job in the shop. This arrangement worked out for the next 20 years or so. Then Orva Lee officially retired.

He had a lot of friends around town, he met some of them for coffee, and I am sure when he and Leon went to supper they would run into friends there too. Orva Lee liked to flirt with the waitresses.

Over the last few months he began behaving strangely. I won’t tell all the things Leon told us about, for the sake of Orva Lee’s dignity. But he would forget things, like taking his wallet into the coffee shop. Or, forget to put his pants on. It got to the point that Leon called my mom, always the Big Sister. Leon said he was worried and that Orva Lee refused to go to the doctor. He didn’t want to hear that he was sick. But mom talked him into it. She has a way with people, she knows where they are coming from and talks to them without making them feel attacked or ganged up on.

So, Leon took him to the VA clinic, and they referred him to the VA hospital in Houston. He had an MRI and it showed a couple of tumors that were pretty deep and in bad places. A biopsy was done to confirm the cancer. I wasn’t there but I am told he took it pretty well. He decided that even though the tumors could not be removed surgically that he would go ahead with the chemo and radiation. He also signed a DNR.

The treatments helped him a lot. The next time my mom saw him he seemed like himself. He was getting around in a wheelchair and cracking jokes. Several days later he was moved to a nursing home close to home, where he had friends who were residents and others could come and visit.

But it didn’t last long. He had only been there about a week when someone from the home called Leon and said that Orva Lee was having trouble breathing and they were sending over to the hospital. Leon got there, and the doctors at this local hospital told him there really wasn’t anything wrong. Leon told them to transfer his brother to the Houston VA Hospital.

Once there, Orva Lee was diagnosed with a heart attack and blood clots in his lungs. His breathing was worse. They could not give him blood thinners because that might make the tumors in his brain bleed out. The doctor said he wouldn’t live out the week. Mom and Dad left for Houston the next day, a Sunday.

Mom called me Monday morning and said that the nurse had called Leon and said that Orva Lee was not going to make it through the day. They were leaving right then to drive across Houston to the VA.

I knew it was going to take some time for them to get there, so I called the hospital and got Orva Lee’s nurse on the phone. She told me he would not open his eyes, he was getting pain medication but that he was not responding to anyone. Never the less, I begged her to go and tell him that his brothers and sisters were on their way and that he should wait for them. She promised to do that for me.

Later in the day, mom called and said they were all there, taking turns in the room holding his hands, praying, talking to him. Believing that even though he was non-responsive he could hear them. Mom, Dad, Alvin, his wife Joan, Linda, and Leon were all there with Orva Lee, all day long. They left at about 7 p.m. and went somewhere to get dinner.

At about 8 P.M. the nurses called to let them know that Orva Lee had made his transition. He wasn’t in any pain. He just stopped breathing.

Linda said he must have waited for them to leave. That would be like him, not to want to pass away in front of them. He was a very private person. And he may have thought it would have been too hard for them to see it.

I asked mom if she was ok, and she said she was, but she didn’t sound like it. I told her so, and she said she was just tired. I am sure she was. But they lost their parents to cancer, and now Orva Lee is the first of the kids to go, cancer again.

I worry about mom, I think this will hit her harder at some point and I hope I can help her through it. I don’t know what it feels like to lose a sibling. Or parents. I have had some friends who have passed away from this life, and I know one thing for sure, leaving this life is NOT the end of life. We DO go on, into a spiritual life where many things happen and there are many things to do.

I can see Orva Lee now, in a big bear hug with my grandparents. Home at last.